Cooking Simulator for a Cooking Simpleton

If there’s one thing that I’m terrible at, it’s cooking. In these uncoordinated, unlucky hands, everything from instant oatmeal to eggs somehow turn to smoke. So when one of my favorite Twitch streamers 39daph decided to play a game called Cooking Simulator, I was intrigued. What skills could a cooking rookie like me learn when the only physical consequence would be the $10 I spent purchasing the game? Would I emerge a master at slicing, dicing, cleaning, and instruction following?

Let me introduce you to the game. Cooking Simulator is a realistic cooking simulation game where you get to take control of a kitchen and cook recipes in an attempt to bring formerly beloved restaurants back into the limelight. Sounds easy enough right? Well, add in some real-life physics and you have an experience where every little touch, flick, and move has consequences. 

Without further ado, here are some somewhat helpful or funny things I learned while playing this game:

  1. PREPARE YOUR SPACE. 

If you’re going to be cooking something, know where everything is. From plates to spatulas, have everything ready to be used. You don’t want to be cooking and then realize you forgot to wash your pan or that you have no idea where the pepper shaker is. So, the best course of action is to make sure you have all the ingredients and utensils out and ready on the countertop so you don’t have to run around screaming about plates like I did. 

  1. PURCHASE ENOUGH INGREDIENTS.

You definitely don’t want to be that person who realizes halfway through the recipe that you were supposed to buy 3 cans of soup instead of 2. This is a bit of a continuation from the last tip and might seem self-explanatory, but you have no idea how many times I forget to purchase something thinking I had it at home. Same goes for this game. There were moments where I spent 4 minutes looking for parsley leaves not knowing you had to purchase them next to the fridge, so make sure to confirm your inventory and then purchase missing items beforehand. 

  1. PLATES ARE FRAGILE.

Okay, hear me out. It’s not like I didn’t know that plates break easily, but this game takes “fragile” to a whole new level. You could be taking a plate out from a stack and manage to knock over three plates, or be wiping down a counter with a sponge and smash a bottle. You have to be extremely careful navigating the controls or you’ll end up with shards of glass everywhere. So whether in real life or in the virtual world, move in moderation and always be careful. 

  1. TIMING IS EVERYTHING (…AND SO ARE SERVINGS). 

When following a recipe, double check that your serving sizes are correct. Make sure the directions say “tablespoon” and not “teaspoon” or you might end up with a completely different dish. This is especially important in the game because you’re running a restaurant and will be graded on your execution of the recipe. Another element of grading is timing. You want your dish to only be on the stove for a minute if the recipe calls for a minute. Any more or any less can affect the quality so follow the recipe as close as possible on these details. . 

  1. DON’T BE LAZY. CLEAN UP RIGHT AWAY AFTERWARDS. 

While it can be really tempting to just leave your messes and dirty utensils on the countertop or in the sink, the best practice is to make sure you always keep things clean. In the game, it can be really easy to make a mess when plates shatter with a flick of the wrist, but make sure to clean when the game gives you time to. Otherwise, you’re going to be setting yourself up for failure. And the same can be said for real life; make sure you wash your bowls and utensils before they become home to some unwelcome organisms. 

  1. THERE IS ALWAYS ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT

And lastly, keep trying! No matter what your grade for a dish is, remember that there will always be something that can be done better next time, whether it be making the soup a little bit hotter or spending a little more time with plating. 

Now, to answer the question: did I end up becoming a cooking master? No. But did I have a whole lot of fun trying? You bet I did! This game allowed me to channel my inner chef even when my hands weren’t able to, and gave me so many laughs along the way. So to all my fellow gaming enthusiasts and beginner cooks, I recommend this game to not only brush up on some fundamental cooking skills but also to spend a cozy night in with, screaming and dying *metaphorically* over the janky mechanics. 

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